- Andrew's Apples 🍎
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- Blinded by delight
G-morning 🌤️
Here's your daily dose of Andrew's Apples, a small white bag of four fresh *fruits* to nourish your soul and make you feel great. In under 2 minutes. Let's go picking.
🕯️ Blinded by delight. Candles are a $10 billion market and growing. A candle calms a room and distracts you from the ongoing global chaos outside. Next time you're alone and feeling a bit stressed, sit down, light a candle, and gaze at the tip of the flame for five minutes. No, you won't go blind. Your breath will slow. Listen to the crackle and pop. You'll return to wifi world a whole New You. Hell of a trip.
🦍 Do wide-grip pull-ups. They sculpt your back muscles, upper chest, and improve grip strength. Women should do these too, start with an assist. If you're a male under 5'9" you lost the genetic lottery (nothing you can do, pal -- consider lifts? lol) and must work on the pull-up. Mother nature gifted us a few natural steroids and this is one of them. In later Issues, we'll cover the rest.
💧 Steel your water. Pack your own water in stainless steel bottles instead of drinking from plastic. Xeno-estrogens come from the plastic - they confuse your hormones and lead to all sorts of reproductive and nervous system anomalies. This is one of the few things the Whole Foods Illuminati has gotten right. I rock this one, and it makes me look light and angelic.
🥣 Acai bowl? How about 'a sigh uh bulls***. Whatever, we tried. Instagram duped us again: photograph pretty thing like acai bowl > human monkey associate pretty thing with health > acai bowl lands on every Brooklyn café menu tomorrow. Like I said, acai bowls are *a sigh* - a sugar bomb masquerading as a hot skinny yoga mom. It's Granola 2.0. Don't fall for it, friend.
How do you like them Apples? Any bad ones? Suggestions? If you ever need anything, hit reply.
Your friend,
Andrew 🍎
"I was two animals, joined as one." (Grandma's Boy, 2006)
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