Lucky Charmless

GM 🦁 This is Andrew's Apples, the health newsletter that makes you hotter naked (and smarter clothed). SO hot. All in under 2 min. Let's go picking.

1. 🥣 Lucky Charmless. Oh nothing. Just 4,500 people sick (and counting) since late 2021 from, yes, Lucky Charms cereal. Damn, cos that shit tastes delicious! Too bad it's front-page news at a website literally named iwaspoisoned.com lmao. Probably nothing.

2. 🐔 I.R.E.A.M. Incentives rule everything around me. So UPSIDE Foods, a startup creating cultivated meat from cells, raises a $400M Series C at a $1B+ valuation. Food tech is hot, roger that. All pretty standard VC/startup stuff. But then there's this comically staged "tasting" by Richard Branson... one of the lead investors on the deal. Guess what: he doesn't hate the chicken, rofl. In the yoga tradition, a big part of getting closer to G*d is exercising your discernment, divorcing the truth from the story, the heart from the clothes. As the world paradoxically becomes more collectivist (embracing mediocrity in the name of egalitarianism) while its own wealth gap widens, we must watch and listen closer than ever before. Check your receipt.

3. 📗 It's a (green)wash. People lie. Corporations are made of people, so corporations too lie. The latest lie from Big Food is from Brazil's JBS, the world’s largest meatpacking company. Its carbon emissions have grown over 50% in the past five years, according to a report released last week. Funny because the company recently announced a plan to go net-zero on carbon emissions. See #2, smh. Copy/paste for any sort of virtue-signaling in the food world (climate, identity politics, redistribution, "equity") that doesn't show its work. Yeah, that's gonna be a no from me, dawg.

4. 🤰 Weird science wildin. This tweet below. Idk gang, I give up.

How do you like them Apples? Did I make a boo-boo? If you ever need anything, hit reply. Love hearing from readers.

Your friend,

Andrew🍎

Share the link below 🍎 with other titans of industry: