Sunscream

Taste is the enemy of creativeness. Pablo Picasso, painter

G-Morning 🦁 This is Andrew's Apples, the health email that's better than laser tag: no snot and more calories burned. Gimme 2 min. Let's go.

1. 🍻 Ketotaled! Booze is a blast. Less fun is the freight-train hangover and the empty pizza box that awaits you when you wake. The way it works: ethanol (a type of alcohol) converts to a toxic byproduct in your liver, which works overtime when you delete a whole case of beer with your one friend Greg. What if I were to tell you that you could still get drunk, but with a lessened hangover and a suppressed appetite? Enter a new keto-friendly ethanol-free drink. Tbh, it's new to the market and the branding is pretty sad: CrossFit aesthetic with random flags, skulls, and eagles lol. Early stages, give 'em a break for crying out loud! Moscow Mule and G&Ts are available flavors as of today. My take: alcohol is not going away (too fun and life ain't getting any easier in the 2020s) but people will be willing to try something marginally healthier/more effective. Make drugs clean again!

2. 🧴 Sunscream. Ok, so vitamin D is really good stuff: your body makes vitamin D with exposure to the sun, which lowers your risk of heart disease, infection, diabetes, cancer, lung disease and pregnancy loss. It's a miracle sent from the gods and cheap as dirt. But too much sun can cause burning (light pink in color means get out of its way) and in some cases melanoma (serious form of skin cancer), so dermatologists recommend sunscreen. The problem with sunscreen is twofold: (1) it inhibits your body from making vitamin D which is essential and (2) 99% of commercial sunscreens are packed with toxic ingredients aka carcinogens... remember your skin is an organ that "breathes" its surroundings. Plus, in a paper released this April, nearly two-thirds of dermatopathologists believe that skin cancer is overdiagnosed. Diagnoses rose while deaths did not, which implies an overdiagnosis (given no breakthroughs in treatment in that time). My take: get more sun than you think you can handle, use a good sunscreen sparingly, and know that skin doctors (like lawyers) are pessimists by trade. Unless your skin is white like a business card, take your top off, exhale audibly, and quit your job. Jk... methinks??!?!?!

3. 🌶️ Sauced to death. Evidently there is an unprecedented Sriracha sauce shortage that could last for 6 months. A well-adjusted society may shrug, sub in Tabasco, and move on with their lives. But this has mfs hurting!!! "Y'mean I can't coat my burrito bowl in a notebook-thick layer of hot sauce?! Who's in charge? This is fucked!" My spin: people like hot sauce, cool great IDC I am neutral on the subject, but what does it say about our food that people need to stash sauce in their purses and backpacks because the food would suck without it? Maybe the food - our food - categorically sucks. And like most issues at a bureaucratic (hell, even democratic) level, we'll just slap lipstick on a pig and call it a night.

4. 🕊️ Tweet of the Day. Amen, brother, amen. In the same way that a healthy society has hot and fit doctors, our lunch ladies too should glow, maintain impressive hip-to-waist ratios, and not reek of cheap cigarettes. Not exaaaactly my experience at Elementary School. Tsk tsk.

How do you like them Apples? If you ever need anything, hit reply. Love hearing from readers.

Your friend,

Andrew🍎

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