GMOh shit!

Good Morning 🦁 This is Andrew's Apples, the health newsletter that makes you hotter naked (and smarclothed). VERY hot. All in under 2 min. Let's go picking. 

1. 🧪 GMOh shit! In the 1990s, GMOs, glyphosate (aka RoundUp), and pesticides become the norm to grow our food. Under layers of marketing language about "needing to feed the world" were newfound disorders and disease. Over the past 10-20 years, these inputs have been linked to rising rates in autism, a decline of metabolic health in children, miscarriages, breast tumors, and so on forever and ever. And in 2015, the WHO identified glyphosate, the world’s most commonly used herbicide, as a "probable human carcinogen." Cancer with your cantaloupe, ma'am? Cancer does not just happen. Bonkers but unsurprising that these larger-than-g*d Soylent Corporations do this. It'd be like some jerk cutting you in line at checkout, leave without paying, then run back into the store just to punch you in the throat, laugh, and moonwalk back to his moped. Big bad bully stuff...

2. 🥨 Salt Wars. Growing up, your ma and grandma both probably told you that too much salt will increase your blood pressure, teeing you up for an eventual v dramatic heart attack in some fancy restaurant. Well turns out this claim is largely based on uncontrolled case reports from over 100 years ago. Mommy knows best, though right?!!? Use your discretion when it comes to listening to Mom: tbh we wouldn't have the genius of Kanye without his Momma Donda telling him that he was going places. Back to salt: the less processed the better, so Pink salt/Celtic salt > table salt > processed table salt. If your grandad stole it from a diner, it's bad salt. Now chew your food.

3. 🍅 Taste this tomato. I will never ordain you to be a [vegan, communist, skinny transhumanist], but I will suggest fun exercises to try IRL. Today's is to go to but one of hundreds of regenerative farms and... try the food. It will rock your world. A regenerative (aka biodynamic) farm is chemical-free, relying on farmers who are in service of life, working with nature not against. Harmony instead of Harm, ok you get it. I know this all sounds very Berkeley-Birkenstock vibe - and it is - but the food is undeniably delicious and nutrient-dense. The tomato tastes like a tomato. Imagine that.

4. 🦥 Don't worry, I'll wait. This tweet below. Or the guy with just a backpack taking the elevator up one floor instead of the stairs lol. Just no shame, all pride. Kind of impressive, this level of out-to-lunch delusion. We've said before that what you eat in private you wear in public... but these mfs be popping Pride Pills from the dispenser IN PUBLIC. Shocking we don't have adult-sized seats in our grocery carts yet. Little nintendos built into the handle, a soda straw hanging from the ceiling?

How do you like them Apples? Did I make a boo-boo? If you ever need anything, hit reply. Love hearing from readers. 

Your friend, 

Andrew🍎 

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