Runner's Highness🏃🏻: Guest Post

It’s super hard to be Charles in Charge when you’re not Scott f***** Baio. Kenny Powers

G-Morning 🏃🏻 this is Andrew's Apples. Today's guest post is from my high-powered attorney friend, Alex. We went to the same high school in west Michigan and both keep personal word banks of words that we think rule. We share a penchant for nice eyeglasses and believe in the American canon of filmmakers. Yes, Gen X shit. He's a good soul so here he is:

Foreword: I'm not a Scienceguy; I'm a measly attorney who runs a lot. So I won't present you with a list of health benefits from running or some tidbits on lactate threshold. I'll save those for someone smarter. I can only speak from experience and give you some cold, hard FAX. Let's run.

1. 🎽 I Just Felt Like Running. For starters, you are all capable of running and running great distances. With varying levels of enjoyment, speed, and pain tolerance, we can all run - you just keep going. In Jim Fixx’s 1977 “The Complete Book of Running,” Fixx describes running as the most democratic of sports. Survey a marathon and you’ll find doctors, garbagemen, teachers, scumbag attorneys, men, women, Fats, and Olds. Fixx notes Children at play will run, then rest, then run again. Running becomes more institutionalized as we grow up and once we are out of school we hardly run at all. The need to run never leaves us, and we are the poorer if we do not somehow find a way to keep at it. He also died of a heart attack while running (shoot!), but he's not wrong. Run one marathon while your legs still work. Whether you hate it and never do it again, the training alone is unmatched in forcing discipline and continuous sense of accomplishment. Join the likes of Al Roker (7:09:44), Shia LaBeouf (4:35:31), Diddy (4:14:54), Will Ferrell (3:56:12), W (3:44:52), and Oprah (4:29:20). You don't have to be a psychopath to run a marathon. You may be a psychopath for running multiple.

2. 🐓 Early to Bed; Early to Rise. Wake up early. I mean hours before work early. I could dole out a dozen Apples on waking up early in and of itself. When you are up before the world you operate in bonus time, so take advantage of it. Unless you are Johnny PencilPusher with an hourlong commute, you might not otherwise find the time to catch up on podcasts, music, audiobooks, or isolated thought. You'll have no weight of other obligations or baggage from the day you just had. You can start when you want, no matter what. Your run can't be derailed by a surprise long day of work or a bad lunch. Feels fantastic to get a long run in and head to work to look down on all the Fats who did not. You don’t have to abandon the wife and kids to get your runs in. It just takes some foresight and good manners. I ran around 1,400 miles last year and billed around 2,500 hours - only to say that the time is there.

3. 👟 All Shoes Matter. Your shoes matter. A guy at a shoe store once told me you should always invest in the things that separate you from the ground - mattresses, tires, and shoes. I don't know much about tires or mattresses, but I know your shoes can make or break your running experience (and toenails). Go see the granola-head at your local running store and you'll learn what you need. If you have money to blow just keep trying shoes until you find your glass sneaker - before your body turns back into a pumpkin. Real running shoes used to be the anti-poon, but the industry has come a long way and you don't have to look like a stamp collector anymore.

4. 🕰️ He Who Holds the Pen. I'm a type-A weirdo and creature of habit. If I don't write out a solid plan I'll shave miles and skip runs. If it's on paper I'll run my 20 miler even if it means I'm sweating Hendrick's and running on 4 hours of sleep. So let it be written, so let it be done. I started this with my first marathon convinced I was following instructions to not get caught with my pants down when I went out for the real thing. Now it just keeps me regular. It's my closet full of Zuckerberg's plain tees - eliminate decisions. You don't have to be a discipline superhero if you give yourself less undisciplined choices.

How do you like them Apples? Feedback for the running machine? If you ever need anything, hit reply. Love hearing from readers.

Your friends,

Alex🏃🏻 (& Andrew🍎)

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