- Andrew's Apples 🍎
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- Twofer a loop
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Here's your daily dose of Andrew's Apples, a small white bag of four fresh *fruits* to nourish your soul and make you feel great. Together we can undress and redress the world. In under 2 minutes. Let's go picking.
🥤 Twofer a loop. Tab was all the rage when it hit the market in 1963; Diet Coke followed suit in 1982. Multinational corporations were saving us from sugar, how sweet. Even hot girls drank it! Still do! The pitch was one of a twofer: all the taste of original soda but less sugar and fewer calories. A fresh 2022 study out of France found that artificial sweeteners increase cancer risk. Lmao. Look gang, if you want something sweet, go for the real thing. I'll take cane sugar over canned science all day. The same Satan spawn who shill Doritos during the Super Bowl keep taking us for a loop.
🪀 I repeat, I repeat. In the 1980s the 'self help movement' hit its stride. Lots of 'happiness should be your default mood and if it's not, buy my book' sort of stuff. Fast forward to 2022 and not much has changed, except that every guru-hack also has an e-book. When it comes to strength though, training sensei Charles Poliquin used to say teach the body that being strong is normal. If you are constantly feeling weak or tired, something is up. One way to fix this is through strength training via repetition ("reps" + "sets"). Multiple sets are needed to develop goonish levels of strength, which leads to better sleep and much more. Multiple-set workouts should last 20-60 minutes. Fewer than 20m, you're skimping. More than 60m, you're on your phone. A yogi's favorite word is 'practice' because the postures (asanas in Sanskrit) do not come unless you put in hours of practice, repetitively, shaking and breathing messy and falling over, looking like an idiot, to eventually stick a pose. Until you are capital-e Engaged.
🦷 The 5–10–15 Step. One hack for skinny SF soyboys (lol life) to pack on pounds is to eat fast, like a zombie on flesh. Don't breathe, don't chew, swallow quick. The inverse also works to lower blood sugar and slow weight gain (even lose weight): 5 breaths before each bite, chew each bite for 10 seconds, and a 15 minute walk at the end of the meal. That's it. The Italians have been walking post-meal for centuries, which is likely not unrelated to Italy sporting one of the lowest obesity rates in the EU (only trumped by Denmark and Switzerland). Tangential tip for young men on dinner dates: don't stare at your food like it's about grow legs and run off the plate; makes you look like a savage and she'll prob 'go to the bathroom' and not come back.
🍎 What else is nu? I started this nudist blog because I had a lot of thoughts and nowhere to put them. Three weeks in: over 100 subscribers and growing every day. If I think something is interesting and of practical value, I mint it as an Apple which you will then see early the next morning. But what am I missing? What do my friends out there want to see more of? Timeless topics like weight loss, equipment-free workouts, calorie restriction, simple snacks... or hot-button topics like mental health, stress, anxiety, food 'innovation,' sleepy time, phone addiction. Bang my line and give it to me straight. I want to ship the best shit.
How do you like them Apples? Suggestions? Hate me? If you ever need anything, hit reply.
Your friend,
Andrew 🍎
Guido's 'ideal woman' Claudia in Fellini's 8½: certainly got her post-meal steps in
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