- Andrew's Apples 🍎
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- Nothin, just chillin, krillin
Good morning 🦁 This is Andrew's Apples, the daily health email that makes you hotter naked (and smarter clothed). In under 2 min. Let's go picking.
🥚 Prices through the coop. As government goons continue to blame 40-year-high inflation on Putin and "greedy corporations" (lmao), and not on the unprecedented Federal Reserve/pandemic fiscal spending behavior, eggs are officially expensive as f#$%. How bad? Nearly 3x the November '21 prices. BUT. You should still buy them. The whole egg (white and yolk), too. As food-makers get cleverer and cleverer about obscuring bad ingredients, an egg is still an egg. Protein and fat, a complete food. And no, I am not going to buy the trendy but soulless egg substitute; its second ingredient by volume is canola oil (lololol) and their website objectively makes it difficult to locate the ingredient list (it took me five aimless clicks). "Best. Eggs. Ever" paints the product homepage (really wild how mentally ill these marketing people have to be to pen that). 'Egg'? Neg.
🍷 When I do drink... Coffee, it's going to be organic because conventional coffee crops are sprayed more than a wiseguy wife's wig. Both will get you the buzz you deserve, but organic will pack some antioxidants and not flood you with toxic (sprayed) chemicals. As for wine, 99% of store-bought stuff is sh*t. Reach instead for natural/local, low-sugar, keto-friendly wines from this spot or a *good* wine store near you. A gas station with an "outdoor key" does not count. Your hangovers will hang around a bit less, leaving more time to stare at a blank tv screen for minutes at a time.
🐟 Nothin, just chillin, krillin. Man, I miss movies from the year 2000. So I've made the point before that getting your omega-3s is super important (omega-6s in this country are hidden everywhere and destroying our health). Fish oil is an easy and cheap way to rebalance your omega fat profile, but there's more: krill oil. Around the same price, krill oil, when compared to fish oil, is more bioavailable, has lower rates of contamination, and crucially is more potent. In a pinch, either will do but know this: there's nothing fishy about 'em.
💰 Who owns what. This tweet below. Follow the money, honey. The difference is that the Elon news is more or less completely transparent, advertised out in the open by, uh... himself! Look, I don't see Blackrock or Bill Gates doing their own advertising for homes and farms (must be their aw-shucks humility), so it's left to the "conspiratorial" muckrakers to dig it up. This applies to Big Food as much as it does Big Tech. Know what time it is friends, defog your specs, and check the clock.
How do you like them Apples? Did I make a boo-boo? If you ever need anything, hit reply. Love hearing from readers.
Your friend,
Andrew🍎
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