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- Runner's Highness🏃🏻: Guest Post
You can’t ever find a place that’s nice and peaceful, because there isn’t any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you’re not looking, somebody’ll sneak up and write ‘Fuck you’ right under your nose. Holden Caulfield, teen rebel in "The Catcher in the Rye"
G-Morning 🏃🏻 This is Andrew's Apples. We got another heater from Alex, our resident running rat. Gimme 2 min. Let's go.
⏲️ Time Out. Don't pay attention to your pace. Time is a flat circle, and your heart rate is a better measure of your body's effort level. There are a myriad of other factors dictating the exertion required for your run. Your flat 8 minute mile run on a crisp April morning might be the functional equivalent to your hilly 10 minute mile run on an August afternoon with dehydration diarrhea breaks. Obviously there's a little more nuance to your overall benefit, but an arbitrary pace will leave you overtraining, undertraining, and/or confused about your inconsistency.
🤸 Cross joint. Mix in some cross training. My wife is a physical therapist and hammers this one ad nauseum, and I still stink at it. You especially need to dial in on ass exercises. There are a host of preventable running injuries to your legs (runners knee, etc.) that can be avoided by a strong ass. When your body weight is hitting the pavement over and over, you need strong cheeks to absorb the shock over your knees and ankles. Just do a bunch of squats and lunges and you can keep yourself from getting Hank Hill ass, like me.
🌞 The Outsiders. I've heard that there's no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes. This holds true for running in everything but wind. Treadmills are sufficient for emergencies, but you will derive real value from getting outside everyday. It’s just Father Sky, Mother Earth, and your dear old Uncle Tony. Go find a cool neighborhood and get jealous of other people's houses. See what other weirdos get outside on the same routine as you and throw them the same corny peace sign every time. You'll care less about a string of grey days in the darker colder months when you get outside everyday anyway. Combat the blues. There's also a masochistic sense of pride that comes with getting your run in despite the torrential downpour or subzero temperatures. Sunrises are nice too if you get out early, which you should.
👴🏻 The Slow Cooker. Don’t run so fast every time you go out. Realistically you should only run a hard/race pace once a week. The lack of recovery will leave you rinsed, and pace numbers are really just for vanity anyway. For reference, your generic medium-long run should put you at around 74-84% of your max heart rate (220 - your age). If you disregarded the point above about times, a long run should be around 60-90 seconds per mile slower than your race pace and you should be able to maintain a conversation. Run with one of your pals and enjoy some locker room talk. He must work out.
How do you like them Apples? If you ever need anything, hit reply. Love hearing from readers.
Your friends,
Alex🏃🏻 & Andrew🍎
"Hank Hill ass"
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